I just finished listening to the audiobook of Mate, by Ali Hazelwood. This was a much anticipated read for me this year, as I really enjoyed Bride, something that surprised me as I am not a big romance, or even a romantasy reader. I think my friends, I just like reading monster and alien romance and the themes that are so prevalent in the genre.

Oh yeah, that's right, I also really loved Ice Planet Barbarians, an alien romance series where a group of women are kidnapped out of their homes in order to serve nefarious purposes in the intergalactic human trafficking world, until the ship they are on crashes in a remote world that happens to have hot, eight foot tall aliens. This isn't the post to give more details on plot lines and character development, among other things, but I will say... I read the first 20 books in the series in 4 weeks. Its good, and there is actually a pretty solid sci-fi subplot in the midst of all of the romance, smut, and "interspecies mating" going on. You know... fun.

Give me a romance with a human man, though, and I usually can't be bothered. I've recently been thinking about why that is. The following line of thoughts are not exactly a new conversation. They've been happening for decades, but it is an ever evolving conversation, with the continued rise in violence against women and girls globally, and the current romantic recession.

Monster/Alien romances typically have similar themes to the typical romance genre, but are often a bit more magnified due to the "monstrous" or "animaltistic" elements of the MMCs in these books (more on that later as I am certainly NOT comparing men to animals). The main male protagonists often exhibit traits such as protectiveness and care for their "woman", showing high levels of self control (when they often fall fast and hard for the FMC), thoughtfulness, and even playfulness. Women are often drawn to these stories, including myself, because of these themes. This is not necessarily because of a lack of these traits in their personal lives with personal partners... though that certainly can be the case. These novels give women the opportunity to read, almost in a Y/N, self insert type of way, about another women being cherished, supported, lusted after and loved by their partners or the potential partners that they are interested in.

Monster romances often have plot lines that revolve around the male being territorial towards their partners (the FMC) and exhibiting "anyone else touches her and you die" type energy, while also simultaneously denying themselves their own wants until they are appropriately encouraged or interest is expressed by the FMC. We see these MMCs cherish and support the women whom they are entangled with, all while simultaneously fucking them into oblivion (consensually of course).

Actually, one of the biggest appeals of books like these are plot points where MMC falls hard and fast (often before the FMC). We get to see them wanting and needing her, but struggling to remain silent, to languish while waiting for her to express some slight level of interest to where he can express his want and interest appropriately. They hold back to ensure she is comfortable, before they make their "move". (Think of Anthony Bridgerton sniffing the air after Kate walks into the house before him, that level of want and need, you can see he is desperate for her).

Books like Mate and Ice Planet Barbarians offer escapes- scenarios which show women being treasured, cherished, protected, wanted and supported. These fantasies and stories offer and show people falling in love, going through completely impossible scenarios (which are fun! don't get me wrong) and yet the real payoff is in the relationships. We see FMCs falling in love with men who display character traits such as integrity, moral codes of conduct, kindness, protectiveness and supportiveness simultaneously, without taking away her agency, along with a myriad of other qualities that not only demand respect but are also just sexy. Which reminds me of those "monstrous" and "animalistic" traits I mentioned earlier and have touched on throughout this essay of sorts.

When talking about the monstrous and animalistic aspects of the MMCs in monster/alien romance books, what I am referencing has all to do with the instinctual characteristics of animals. Think of how wolves are protective of their pack... their mates. Take wolves for example. Wolves have been known to risk their own lives in order to protect pack members from danger. In a werewolf story, like Mate, this is a trait we see in Koen, the MMC of the story. At a certain point, Serena the FMC has a plan that puts herself at risk. We see Koen get extremely upset and protective over Serena (hot, he loves her and is trying to protect her), but Serena is pretty adamant that this is something she needs to do for the greater good. Koen doesn't like it but after a solid plan is in place he begrudgingly goes along with it and helps to implement the plan in the best and safest way, thereby not taking away Serena's agency and even deferring to her own choice in the matter (also hot).

Other "animalistic" behaviors include raw lust for their partner (mate) paired with an emphasis on consent, open communication, and ensuring their partners are comfortable with any physical and emotional milestones and progressions. Partners pay attention to each other, attuned to the others body language, and both what is said an is unsaid. This doesn't mean being a mind reader, in fact I've read some books where one character calls out another for the lack of communication or shutting them out for various reasons. Everyone has baggage. Part of the appeal is having someone willing to go through it with you when you are working on it as well.

I am often reminded of friends who are currently dating today, sharing stories with me of nightmare dates. Dates where they aren't asked a single question about themselves, or dates where there is an insinuation that they are owed something for the simple act of leaving their house and having dinner or drinks or what have you. In a time when often, as Vogue said, having a boyfriend is embarrassing.. when men often see women as something less than themselves, or when women are treated as prizes and then discarded, the conversation on romance books and the themes I've just laid out are only becoming more and more relevant.